You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
