All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
