They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
