You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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