frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
