Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
