fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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