so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
