in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
