I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
