Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
