after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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