dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
