No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
