What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We left the knife in your bed.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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