You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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