Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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