I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
