Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
...so i touched it.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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