her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Acid is not a monday night drug
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize