I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
