Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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