I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
