Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
God I need to hump something, right now.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
