hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
