Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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