you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My balls are so social today.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
