Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
