To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
