did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
