I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
