He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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