she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
