Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
