its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Bring me that man meat
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
