yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
our cab driver is having phone sex.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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