Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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