You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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