His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
