All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
