We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
