Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
