I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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