Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
