Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
