By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
