Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
