I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
