turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
