That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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