Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
